Kagame demands that the British jokers take back their miserable £240 million at once. (Satire)

A busy General Paul Kagame at the 2024 World Economic Forum, Davos

By David Himbara

“I have never dealt with such clowns as those running the British government,” said General Paul Kagame when responding to the BBC reporters at the World Economic Forum. A frustrated Rwandan Ironman added that it had been two years since the British agreed to trade asylum seekers for £240 million and an additional £50 million afterwards. Enough is enough, declared the General. “These people should take their money if they don’t give us the asylum seekers as per our agreement. Execute now or never.”

A BBC reporter asked Kagame to share his views on what was holding up the deal in the UK. The problem is obvious, according to Kagame. “Their so-called democracy robs them of the ability to rule, so they go on with endless debates. Their weak leaders don’t last. We launched this deal with Boris Johnson, Liz Truss and now Rishi Sunak. Enough is enough.”

When asked what advice he could give to the British government, Kagame shared the following wisdom:

“That is an easy question. When I lay down the law, I expect individuals to execute it without questioning my authority. And I have zero tolerance for mistakes and of course, time is money. I repeat. I don’t tolerate mistakes, which result in dismissal, imprisonment or even disappearance. The British government needs to borrow our style of governance or continue to sink into incompetence we see today.”

Stay tuned.