Kagame Orders the British to Define Rwanda “a Safe Country” (Satire)

By David Himbara

Source: UK House of Commons, “Safety of Rwanda (Asylum and Immigration) Bill,”2023–24 http://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk

The Rwandan Ironman General Paul Kagame has ordered the British to describe Rwanda as a safe country. The British sheepishly obeyed. Henceforth, all the British decision-makers must define Rwanda as follows: “Every decision-maker must conclusively treat the Republic of Rwanda as a safe country…A court or tribunal must not consider a review of, or an appeal against, a decision of the Secretary of State or an immigration officer relating to the removal of a person to the Republic of Rwanda.”

Kagame has tamed the once-mighty “Great Britain.”

Kagame with UK’s Rishi Sunak (top): Charles the Third, Head of the Commonwealth and Kagame, the Commonwealth Chair-in-Office

The Rwandan Ironman is already second in command to His Majesty Charles the Third, Head of the Commonwealth. Kagame is the current Commonwealth Chair-in-Office. In this capacity, Kagame represents the Commonwealth at high-level international meetings. Most importantly, he is responsible for reinforcing the Commonwealth’s conflict prevention and resolution work. Stay tuned.